As tempting as it is to walk into your boss’s office or send a passive-aggressive email to an insufferable co-worker, exhausting, emotional responses don’t solve problems. There’s a better approach to handling difficult conversations at work, says Microsoft chief marketing officer Chris Capossela — and it starts with clear, confident communication. “Communication can be a particularly difficult skill that takes a long time to perfect, but it’s one of the most important skills you need to succeed in the workplace,” Capossela, 53, tells CNBC Make It, adding that when these are stressful issues, “communication can often go wrong.” Capossela spent his 31-year career at Microsoft focused on the art of communication, even serving as a spokesperson for then-CEO Bill Gates between 1997 and 1999. Here, he shares his best tips for navigating a difficult job conversation:
Write your thoughts in an email — but don’t hit send
Think of the clipboard section of your inbox as your new work best friend: a place to share your unfiltered thoughts and feelings without judgment, which you can revisit and revise later. Before Capossela initiates or participates in a difficult work conversation, he begins with an email. “I write all my thoughts about the situation in a draft email that I can work on and be as tight, well-written and unemotional as I can,” she says. “When people can take the time to hone in on what they want to say, it always goes better than just doing it verbally without the cuff.” Once she gets the writing as “clear, crisp and calm” as she wants it, she uses it as a script to start a conversation with the person or people involved in the situation, or as a precursor to finding a time to meet. For example: If you’re asking for a delayed promotion, says Capossela, the final version of your script might say, “Hey boss, I’d love to talk to you about my career development, I’d love to know what it would take me to get to the next level. I’d love to meet with you and hear your thoughts on what those steps might look like. Let me know when you’re available.”
